Dream in Thoughts Land---Part 3

Part 3 in the publication...

02.12.2010

Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life, LOVE gives us a Fairytale........

I believe in this saying because I have felt it. He came into my life as an Angel and made my life a Fairytale, he is my inspiration, his words and his thoughts have made me realize that I have thousands of reasons to start my life again. I was confused about his existence, thought he was my imagination but he cannot be my imagination, he is real, my love, my life and my reason to be alive.

I cannot believe that within these few days how did he influence me so much. Am I getting carried away with him or do I really love him? My heart says “I LOVE HIM” and he is true and real. Last Monday he gave me a call at 5 am in the morning apologizing that he was not able to receive my call because he was fast asleep. I got my life back after hearing this. Thank God, he is fine and he is not my imagination, he is real. I am so happy. My day started hearing his voice. The calmness and purity in his voice gave me the confidence to start my day with a positive note. I was sure I was going to have a nice day ahead and I was so true. I got my appraisal letter at work, he is so lucky for me. I felt so fateful to have a friend like him. The whole day we spoke to each other by chatting and over phone. I was feeling nice speaking to him. We were sharing our views on different issues and we found that we have many things in common. Our mentalities match and were having a great time together.

Wednesday…....was very disturbed due to my past and some personal reasons, but don’t know why I felt like sharing my feelings with him. I immediately called him up, and just poured my heart out. I cried in front of him like a baby and he was continuously consoling me up. I was also not able to understand why I was getting inclined towards him and was discussing my past. But he was so patient and supportive that I didn’t feel awkward at all.

I don’t know that does he really feel the same for me that I feel for him or is he just giving me moral support? Can I ever be his soul-mate…his love, his life and his reason to be alive. How would I let him know that I have started loving him so much, that he has become an essential part of my life. Can I ever be special to him? Can he forget his past and include me in his life.

Don’t know why am I am feeling possessive about him? Shall I express my feeling to him, or shall I not. Will he accept my proposal or will he reject me? I don’t want to have a broken heart. But why am I afraid of a broken heart…I don’t expect anything from him…if he doesn’t love it’s his decision. No one can stop me from loving him.

Today is Thursday and he insisted to meet me on Friday, that’s tomorrow. Shall I meet him, I am tensed what I shall do. Shall I tell him that “Yes, I Love him” or shall I take some time to think and express my feeling. Don’t know how will he be, how will he look like, will he like me, or will I like him, if I don’t come up to his expectation and vice-versa then, will he not love me anymore or will I not love him anymore. But I know my love for him is true and so does he. Tomorrow is a decisive day for me and my life. Don’t know if I could ever express my feelings to him verbally but I am sure that he could understand what I feel for him if he looks into my eyes, because “Eyes speak better than words”.

Its 7 am in the morning and suddenly I felt that my phone is ringing. I opened my eyes to find out who is calling and I realized that I was dreaming about him. He is my imagination, not real, but a beautiful thought. He is not meeting me, neither he loves me, neither he feels for me, nor does he exist. Why is this happening to me, how can I believe that he doesn’t exist, we spend so much time with each other, are they all fake, are those moments my imagination, it is not possible. I hear his voice everyday, I feel his breath, his heart-beat, his inspiring words, I can’t believe myself. Am I going mad? May be loving him is a punishment for me or may be this is an indication from life that some one special is coming into my life to make my life beautiful and a love saga to celebrate.