[ Note : This is the next blog in the series. Again its not written by me. It is written by one of my dearest friend. As per her request I have not mentioned her name ]
28.11.2010
Yesterday
I had spent a sleepless night, thinking of the decision that I have taken of
again loving somebody. Today, happens to be Sunday…. which I generally wait for
the whole week…. was awesome. I went for a family outing and dinner with my
cousins. But whole of the time I was thinking about him. I was thinking that
does he really love me? Or I misinterpreted his feelings…didn’t speak to him
since morning, neither on chat, nor on phone, not even by SMS. I was worried.
Though I
was in between the crowd…still I was feeling lonely… might be coz I was missing
him… I was wondering that is he remembering me as I am doing? Or is he with
somebody else flirting around….I was Blank…Is he genuine or just a flirt? Obviously,
He is not a flirt, my heart addresses, he has touched my feelings, my heart,
just by few conversations he has come very close to me, I feel him in my
breathe, around me. He is on my mind.
I came
back soon just to find out if he was available on chat or not, he was not
there…he was not there for me. Now I am again “Alone”
.
The clock
just now ticked to 12 O’clock. Its midnight. Every body are fast asleep, its
calm and silent. I am able to hear my heart beat, its beating fast… very fast.
I am missing him, but where is he? Tried to gather some courage to give him a
call, the phone rang, but there was no reply. Is he intentionally not picking
up my call or is there something wrong with him? Is he fine? Am feeling
helpless…
Its 12.35
am and I am still waiting for him, suddenly a thought stuck my mind, that does
he really exists, or is he just my imagination? I have spoken to him but have
not seen him, yet. How would he look like? But if he is my imagination then why
am I not able to imagine him today…where is he? Since last seven days he is
there with me, talking with me, chatting with me, I have heard him speaking, he
can’t be my imagination? He is there in real, I know that…
Is he
angry on me….or has he found somebody else? I didn’t express my feelings to
him, then why will he be angry? Oh God!!! I don’t want to loose him. Don’t
leave me alone… Please…
Its 1 o’
clock and am still thinking of him.. Reality or My Imagination. I am too confused.
I think he was my imagination. Yesterday I realized that “I LOVE HIM” ….and
today he is not there. What does this mean, that I was imagining him of being
my friend, my love, my inspirations, my life, may be…he doesn’t exist at all.
I am
alone thinking about him but would never ever forget him. Last seven days were
the best days where I was able to discover a new me, his inspiring words “that
nothing is over in your life *****, it’s just the beginning.” I will never forget him. He has made me lively,
and made me realize that LOVE exists not by physical touch but by emotional
touch.
Tomorrow
would be a new beginning for me… where every thing would be nice and happy as
before. I would always admire his words and inspirations, his echoing words
“that nothing is over in your life *****, it’s just the beginning.” Yes I know
it’s the beginning, it’s the beginning of a new life, a new love, a new me. My
love for him would always be alive, pure and divine just the way he was….
YOURS
SHONA
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