Breathless

There are a lot of sayings about love now a days, a lot of quotes, poems, movies, music, etc.. If you look at it, you can base just about anything on love. There is always something to represent a special care, a feeling, an emotion, an action that resembles love. And saying this, I want to talk about first loves. By "first loves", I mean the first person you actually cared deeply about and thought you were in love with them. I have a story of first love and how she fell in Love...

So, I assume everyone has fallen in love at some point in their lives already, and if you haven't, hold on tight because that will be one roller coaster you probably won't want to ride anymore, especially when you fall in love at such a young age. She fell in love with the wrong guy at the age of 16. The first love is the one love that is impossible to forget, but in this case it is the pain (pun intended).  There is always the one thing that brings you back to that one time where you seemed to be happy with this one person. Everything was perfect at the time and you thought that nothing could go wrong, you feel like you know him your whole like and you feel like he/she is the one for you, the one you'll marry and have your kids with. Ultimately by looks every girl dreams of having a Prince like partner. Everything gets exciting especially commencing the relationship when you are just getting to know each other, the best part. With that one love you share so many memories and endless stories and also harsh tears and arguments that bring you to the reason why these guys broke up. It took her 11 months to decide that He is not the right guy and the nightmares are haunting her now.  And just thinking about it just lets her down. Then there's those nights that you cry about it and sometimes blame yourself when it wasn't your fault to begin with.

" I spend my days looking through pages
Trying to find a way to get away from me
With love to give that leaves you Breathless
Now all I need is to find a way back inside my mind"
THIS IS NOT THE END

Well they say that one nail takes out another, so you go out and try to find someone else that can help you forget about what happened and just have the chance to start over, start fresh. You find that one person, but then you start comparing them to your first love, (I personally don't do that because I get annoyed when the opposite sex compare to their ex's..) but, I understand how hard it is to forget about someone you fell in love (attraction) with. Every little thing they do reminds you of how things used to be, you won't do things you did with your ex because it was something that only you two share, something special. This second person seems to not care about you as much as the first initially and things go downhill from there. The arguments start, and the phone calls are less frequent. But what's important in this matter, is to not give up ever.

Another thing they say is that the third one's a charm. Okay so you meet one more person which you happen to get along with well. This person brings back the feelings that were hidden within you that you were afraid to let out, all those feelings that disappeared with your first heartbreak. Being with this person helped you forget all those times you got hurt and cheated on, all the tears, the fights, door slams, and screaming. With this person you feel like a new door has opened up but you still have bits and pieces of your first love (as mentioned earlier its attraction rather than Love) in the back of your head. His presence makes you feel safe, like for once in your life something feels right. But something goes wrong, some kind of torture and you stop talking. Heartbroken again. Then she decides...”why to strangle my present, thinking about the past. He is there for me... He knows everything...He has accepted me knowing everything...then why am I afraid? What am i afraid of? I should let go all of these thoughts. I know He will be there with me forever.”

Hopefully my last saying is that if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was always meant to be yours. So this first love decides that he made a mistake by leaving you and wants to make things work again. He missed your smile, the way you would look at him, how jealous he would get when she would flirt around with guys and everything about you. Although he's having trouble admitting to himself about his feelings, he decides to put her to the test. He starts flirting with some girl in your face just to see if she'd get jealous. He sees or at least thinks that you aren’t and gets hapless. God is definitely giving him a second chance to Him, but she doesn't accepts coz she had a nightmare... she is not even listening to him...she lets Him go to waste. She forgot about her first love who was rather a crush and replaced it with a new love....the love of her life... the ONE she was searching of...the ONE she dreamt of... the ONE she described in her Dream Diary...  So if you think about it, the first guy you weren't really in love with. You just thought you were and now you know the truth. First loves are always hard to get over and half of the time you're not really in love with them in the first place. It took someone almost 5 years to get over her first love. You were not in love... you can get rid of it easily... The ONE is always with YOU